SPOILER ALERT+Random Ramblings.

A day has passed since my world collapsed around me, and I had to go through the torture of watching it in anguish and pain; yet a part of me is awesomely glad that all those things had happened for they could have been the ruin of everyone involved.

Am starting to think that I have a FETISH for broken hearts and the scars they leave in their wake. Because with each passing of every tragedy, I begin to crave for another.
I should probably call myself the SCAR COLLECTOR (spoiler alert!) Someone else has that job description but with a different name.

Only that with this tragedy I find myself devoid of any humanly emotion possible.
Am bereft of the pain that actually follows after a tragedy.
I feel tired and empty.
I keep staring into space, thinking the same thoughts till my brain starts to ache and I fall into a fitful sleep.

It will pass, I tell myself.
Until I Read John Green’s awesomely happy sad book The Fault in our Stars, I cried for an hour hoping that the tears might bring release not because it gives me sheer pleasure to do so even though am not ill with any terminal disease, I felt completely in sync with the main character in the book.

Spoiler alert! He made all the stories up, even though it was too surreal to be fiction, I laughed as hard as I cried.
I never cry for books or movies *puts on Badass geek glasses*
But with all the roller coaster of emotions swirling in circles around me, I find myself constantly upset and Bawling is the only logical Reaction my weary brain could think of.

Some infinities are greater than other infinities.

you damn sure get to choose your battles, but the truth remains that no matter how many battles you win, the constant War we engage in with the universe just to be noticed because we fear OBLIVION leaves us at constant loss.

Striving to win a battle but losing a war is as good as not being existent.

Choose wisely Sue.

For now I demand to be left in peace to actually enjoy the gift of PERSONHOOD, even though its never easy.

Just like Hazel Grace in the book whom even with faulty lungs she survives, yes she does.
So even though my world has crumbled, I am going to rebuild it, like Mike said “But the realization that feelings can come over and over again is liberating”

Yet I will not forget to live in the moment.

Till my emotions allow me (Spoiler Alert!) I am not going on a Hiatus.

I shall be sane for a little longer. 🙂


6 thoughts on “SPOILER ALERT+Random Ramblings.”

  1. Mehn you are good… As in i could relate to this post. Heard your writing as loud as screams from a Human’s mouth, in my head the Alphabets spoke.. Mehn this is not just blogging, this is a heart speaking. 🙂 Its official I do not need a confirmation… Into my Journal of thought for bloggers i stalk shall your name go. 🙂

    Depression and moodiness was once a way of life for me, but a wise mentor once said that the Happy times of life are much more than the sad moments of life, and that changed it. I got up, Thanked GOD for all i have, fell in and out of love, and just kept keeping on. So bubba, kick of your shoes and enjoy this life, cause on the long Run yeah, we only live once, so lets make it count. Cheer up, Chin up and love up is what we should do. Hence even if Jilda leaves me tomorrow, I will only drink up and keep up. 🙂 No regretsm no scars.

    check out hr name is Bim Akinmade, you guys are like Twin. 🙂 you write in such an absolute way 🙂

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