I know right now you are sitting in your room, alone with your phone, your thoughts are going haywire and you are crying. The kind of tears that is rooted in fear. Easy Kammy Easy.
Its almost as though everywhere you turn, a brick wall is being set up, it feels as if God himself is elbowing you in.
You are almost certain God wants to teach you a lesson.
THESE LESSONS YOU DIDN’T WANT TO LEARN
22 meant crying ceaselessly into your pillow.
22 was Not understanding how up until now you didn’t have a clear cut idea of what you wanted
22 meant being scared shitless, afraid of whether you were going to graduate
22 meant inner turmoil that left you restless for days.
22 meant feeling lonely and not knowing what would happen.
But it also meant being Brave and walking forward like a mutant warrior
It meant trusting unwavering and loving steadily.
It meant praying till your voice became hoarse and your knees bleeding.
It also meant that finals came and projects was done with. You did it.
The fears you had about failing meant you had a distinction in your results because Rom 8:28 came tumbling down your path every single time.
FEAR IS A THING THAT EVAPORATES
Eloghosa Osunde knew what she was saying when she wrote that line.
You learnt to be vulnerable, to give parts of yourself to people regardless of what they did with it.
You learnt that shame and guilt were crippling emotions that would ruin you.
You Learnt that Accepting Scraps for fear of not finding anything better was total rubbish
You learnt to hold people accountable for the way you were being treated.
You Learnt that Love was Give and Take, it meant Growth and it Sure Meant “You”.
You Learnt that Toxic people were bad for your health.
You learnt that Lipstick made you happy, and that it was ok if you were not able to afford the things you wanted at the time.
You learnt that finding your voice meant being still.
But most importantly You learnt that Maybe Meant No, that people won’t always tell you what the truth.
You did great this year.
You had joy in abundance.
You traveled, you laughed and you lived.
You eventually got over your fear of public speaking.
You are more than you think you are.
You may still not have a surefire plan as to how Version 23.16 may look but you have a God who knows the way and has a blueprint that would be the envy of those who made Burj Khalifa.
That word keeps ringing in your ears, and you know now that truly Fear is a Thing that evaporates, Slowly then all at once.
Happy Birthday in Advance Sue; An Upgrade is in order.
Obasi Susan Kamnelechukwu