Be Warned This is not a typical Boy meets girl story!
Sue doesn’t do Sappy.
Its beautiful in a way.
And its my second attempt at writing fiction.
I stood there glancing at the sky, that was so blue it hurt to look at it, but was so radiant and perfect that it broke your heart in a good way to not look at it, I have been standing here feeling the weight of all my baggage weighing me down.
No man wants a girl with all my baggage, look at me with all my self doubt,insecurities,I found what
appalled me: a zoo of lusts, a bedlam of
ambitions, a nursery of fears, a harem of
fondled hatreds. My name was legion.” Far
from being a bad, morbid, overly
introspective thing, yet this man has decided that I was the only thing that mattered to him.
It was too good to be true. I kept staring at the sky, sometimes silence was all that was needed, nature can be a comforting companion no need for it to reply to the questions buzzing in my head but yet providing serenity to bring me back to sanity.
I remember my first encounter with him; it was on a cold wednesday when I felt like my world was crumbling, I couldn’t be bothered to get out of bed, suffering from one of my depression bouts that I picked up a letter from him, telling me how much he loves me, It annoyed me so much, that I flung it to the far end of my room. Why would this man lie to me? Is it not enough that I am alone and lonely? Why should he care to love “me”. In my anger I decided I was going to talk to me about his little prank and end it before it got too far.
I got out of bed, feeling woozy from lying down too much and taking painkillers in attempt to dull a pain whose source was more emotional than physical, how does one cure emotional pain with painkillers? I took a shower,dressed up and prepared to write him back.
I finished writing in two seconds with words “Leave me alone, I am not good enough”
I picked up his letter and was looking for a return address and was pissed when all I saw was “In Your Heart”
What kind of man signs a letter with “in your heart”?
Besides who writes letters in 2015 anymore? Chuckling to myself as I remember the Nipost office down my street.
Still I wouldn’t be bothered.
I decided I was going to look up his profile just to get a kick out of it. I Searched for his name on Google and suddenly the color drained from my face, what sort of Joke was this?
He isn’t even wealthy enough to take me on dates, has no ferrari, porsche, nor family name, he wasn’t the most attractive of men.
My love life is doomed if men like this were seeking me out.
I looked for a phone number, so desperate to call him and warn him to “Piss off”
What I saw actually pissed me off, his phone number was “just talk am listening”
Are we in the stone age?
I quickly turned my data off.
What a waste of time.
I suddenly felt the sudden need to try the silly idea just because I didn’t want him to contact me anymore.
I sat still thinking about what to say, I wasn’t raised to be rude, I started by saying my name, and why I was calling him. Leave me alone was all I said, it was barely a whisper but I hoped he got the message.
As I went about doing whatever caught my fancy. I noticed another letter on my table that simply said.
“I will never leave you nor forsake you even till the end of time”
Rolling my eyes at the letter I shook my head, this is the corniest pickup line ever. I flung it with the first one that I saw in the morning.
Why would this man love me so deeply?
I decided to talk to him again
I was bored.
The more I talked the more enchanted I became with him, I didn’t want to stop talking. I would tell him everything from who started a fight with me, to who I felt hated me, to how I didn’t like being depressed and stuff. Almost everything.
I didn’t have to bother about talking too much, he was there, even at 2am when everyone was sleeping, when I became sick he wrote me saying ” I have Healed you”
I didn’t want it to stop.
It was personal, something to finally call mine. I didn’t want to share.
I found out I just wanted him to not stop replying, and oh the letters after the first two was so beautiful.
I say again I didn’t want it to end!
He told me of how they killed him, no lot literally, they smashed nails into his hands and legs and left him for dead. He died! And I cried so much because i was the reason he stayed on the cross.
His love was so great that that pain had nothing on that love.
I started cheating
I started messing around his brain.
I started playing mind games
I found someone new.
I had mistaken a prince for the King.
I wanted out!
I didn’t speak to him for days.
I wouldn’t read his letters.
I killed him all over again!
Yet he was so kind.
He brought me gifts, he would make me laugh until my stomach hurt.
I still loved him.
But I put him in the Dreaded Friend Zone
When all he wanted was for me to Love him so Badly.
Then calamity struck.
The toad I left him for messed me up so bad that I didn’t know what to do. He broke my heart to smithereens.
Yet I cried out to him and he answered.
He nourished me back.
He steadied my heart once more.
And here I am basking in the warmth of his constant Love.
And he got me wondering why I ever left him in the first place.
I ask again, why would a perfect person love a flawed lady like me?
Then something happened.
I thought he was cheating on me.
I realized everyone loved him, and he loved them back.
You could say he was a Ladies man.
I couldn’t imagine him having the kind of relationship he had with me with anyone else.
But he wrote me a letter ” Love is not Jealous” he said.
He is everything I want and ever would need
I am his bride and someday I hope to be united with him.
He is Emmanuel, Love personified.
The Love of my Life.
I am Suzanne and this is My Love Story.