Light comes on
Susan screams.
Cobwebs everywhere
Picks broom
Cleans everywhere.
With dust covered face,
she turns and gives the most
Heartfelt apology ever

Women and Men of Reflections, I should write an apology letter for abandoning this beautiful thing we have going on here, but God knows I probably won’t finish it in time because the thing long die, so please have mercy on me and pardon my weird disappearance.

What happened you might ask? The only answer to that question is this: school happened, I know am supposed to write about what I’ve been up to but boring cannot describe it sef.

Hope everyone forgives me.
*bats eyelashes, drops makeshift microphone,picks the most powerful weapon ever; The pen and starts writing furiously*

Fellow reflectionist *sounds beautiful* make una help me talk this matter, cause I don tire to dey hear all this things wey people dey load me with.

I have 99 problems and depression is part of it. Are you upset cause I talk about it? Deal with it.

So a guy friend walks up to me and says “Nne I’ve been watching you for days now and you don’t look happy, remember a problem shared is a problem solved”
I look into his soulful eyes, thanking God for sending me someone to talk to and I answer
“I am depressed” and he goes “Nigerians don’t have depression”

***awkward silence*** More depressed susan*** she packs her bags and storms off to God knows where***

Now that scene happened for real, anyone who knows me will know that I try to be open-minded about this depression issue as much as I can, shey make I begin give definition of this depression thing? I beg to differ after all wetin google dey exist for?

But am going to say something about about this thing once and for all.
1. You are weak in the faith that’s why the devil attacks you with depression: Religion has nothing to do with depression, even david in the bible was a classic case of a depressive, advice the person to get Help if you can’t say something else.

2. Get over it: (˘̯˘ ) you think I like being this way?

3.You only have negative thoughts that’s why you are depressed: Positive thinking might alleviate depression but its not the cure.

4. You are weak that’s why you have depression, errrm its the opposite am a mutant soldier who carry’s on living despite having depression.

5. You think too much: like really?

But this is the truth:
i think it’s important to recognize the number of factors that contribute to a person’s behaviors and perception of the world.And I know that some people-regardless of their upbringing,or despite having a ‘healthy’ upbringing- will make poor choices.  and even then, i attempt to understand

Because what i know is that you cannot reduce people to hasty generalizations based on your limited understanding of their situation because of facts stated it is much more complicated than that. And also there are still so many people in this world who do not understand. who choose not to understand. and who continue to blame people for the suffering they do not take the time to understand.
And so if your understanding of depression or suicide is one that blames the person who is struggling with the mental illness, i would challenge that your knowledge of their life and experiences is incomplete. i would challenge you to have one conversation with a person who has had thoughts of suicide, attempted suicide, or who struggles with a mental illness. i challenge you to be curious rather than judgmental, open minded and open hearted.

I challenge you to seek to understand rather than assume that you already know, because you really do not know. 

For those whose suffering feels unnoticed,For those people who feel quietly stuck inside their mind, those that feel hopeless,whose cries for help are mislabeled or misunderstood as cries for attention or flaws in their being,For the people who feel too tired to continue living,For people who struggle with depression and For people who don’t,For people who are having a bad day,or kerosene subsidy hit you, or Nepa keeps robing you of your joy, or those who have horrible bosses, for those with plenty friends yet extremely lonely and for those people who don’t understand the illness but are willing to try. 

There is still time to ask for help, to smile, to heal, to live, to love and to recover
There is still time for sunshine, love and every beautiful thing you could ever imagine to come into you heart, there is still time to live again.

And for those asking why I cut my hair in the first place, I did it because I wanted to attempt suicide, and I thought people would notice I needed help for my condition but people only made me feel worse about it, and yes I finally found help for my condition, even though its hard to talk about sometimes. Get help if you are depressed.

If you ever want to talk about somethings or nothings, please do email me

Love Suzanne.